Audio Companion: Back to Black - Beyonce feat Andre 3000
I swing my feet over the side of the bed. My fingers itch to pull the sheets over my naked breasts but I chide myself for being an idiot. Four minutes ago this man was buried seven inches inside of me. The shyness train had long left the station. I watch as he pulls his shirt over his skin which still glistens with his – our sweat. My insides contract and I curse how weak I am for him. Fully dressed, he turns towards me, “I’ll call you.”
He starts walking towards the door. I sigh and call out to him, “You forgot something.”
He crosses the space between us in three long strides, his feet making no sounds against the plush carpet of my bedroom. He leans down and catches my lips with his. I drink him like wine and then I pull myself away – slowly, hesitantly nipping at his bottom lip.
“I wasn’t talking about a goodbye kiss Leo,” I whisper. I point to nightstand, “I was talking about that.”
His eyes follow my finger and instantly there’s a large, black cloud in the room. Except the cloud isn’t black at all. Nor is it large. It is small, circular and sparkling gold.
I see the apology in his eyes as he retrieves it and slides it on to his finger. I swear that that ring is connected to my heart. With every inch it slides down his finger my heart drops somewhere down to my stomach like lead. It’s ironic how just minutes ago that finger made me squirm with pleasure. Now I squirm with something else entirely.
“I’ll call you,” he says again. He makes his way to the door – more slowly this time. Leo can never gauge the way I’ll react when he leaves. There are times when I purr contentedly and see him out with a kiss. There are the times when I beg him to stay. When I beg him to leave her. Then there are the times, much like tonight, when I sit naked on the bed with the lights bathing my skin biting back the tears he knows I’ll cry once he leaves. He stands there with his hand fixed on the door, “I want to stay as much as you want me to.”
He remains frozen like Lot’s wife for a couple seconds before he turns towards me. He’s almost to the bed when his cell phone blares. His eyes fix on mine as he reaches to his pocket. I can tell instantly from his tone of voice that he is speaking to her. My bitterness is acid that pools in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes she feels like the other woman. Anger rouses in me. At least she gets to live in her blissfully, ignorant world where she didn’t share him.
“I’ve got to go,” Leo says once he’s ended the call. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to work things out so we can have a weekend away.”
He nuzzles my neck and I allow him to kiss me goodbye. He’s my Kryptonite, poison and salvation rolled into six feet two inches. I watch him as he walks towards the door. I watch as he goes back to her. I stay seated for a while longer before I turn off all the lights so that I left with nothing but black.
All Copyrights to Rilys "Rilzy" Adams
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