Cole and Tasha’s story has been a journey to write and I am excited (albeit, really nervous) to share the first few chapters with you. It is important to note that this book will cover themes of domestic violence and as such you should be mindful if it is a triggering topic for you. I know if you read ‘Go Deep’, you left that book wondering: What the hell is up with Tasha and Cole? Very soon… everything will be answered. But for now… here’s a small sneak peek.

You can pre-order “Before We Fall’ by clicking here. Don’t worry, it will be out way before November but I wanted to give the ‘zon a safe date!

Enjoy!

Please note that this is not the final edited version, so read with some grace!

Chapter One

Tasha Dixon-Turner breathed deeply through her mouth and exhaled slowly through her nose, keeping track of the length of her breaths by tapping her high-heeled shoes against the pavement. Nobody on the planet pushed her buttons like Jeremy did. Anger sloshed like corrosive acid in her stomach, threatening to release the rage Tasha tried her best to hold back. It wouldn’t do anyone good if she lost her temper. It wouldn’t do her any good if she lost her temper.

“Aye. You listening to me?”

Her husband’s angry voice jerked her from thinking about all the things she wished she’d said when he asked her to go out that night. She should have feigned a headache, upset stomach… anything to convince him they didn’t need a last-minute date night at a popular DC restaurant. She agreed to it because she didn’t want to deal with his temper. That same temper was at the forefront of her mind as she tried to select an outfit. She’d been careful to make sure the outfit she picked was just sexy enough for him to approve but at not so sexy that other men leered at her. It didn’t work. It never did. Tasha didn’t know why she even tried. Jeremy’s jealousy was like a tsunami – forceful, all-encompassing and usually hit without much warning, sweeping her away in his rage.

Tasha pushed the apology hovering on the tip of her tongue away. She was sick and tired of apologizing for things that weren’t even her fault. She didn’t ask the tall, stocky man standing at the side of the bar with a joint hanging from his mouth to make suggestive comments to her. Her stomach roiled in disgust. Jeremy was the fucking worst. He should’ve felt protective of her. Some leech throwing unwanted attention her way should’ve bothered him. That was how a man who truly cared about his woman would feel. Jeremy didn’t even feel the need to tell the man to knock off his disgusting commentary about what the sight of Tasha in her dress did to his body. Her husband lost his entire shit … at her. Loud as hell too.

Tasha continued taking deep breaths as he launched into another tirade about her not listening to him while he was ranting before.

I can’t stand your disrespect.

Who do you think you are?

Coming out here dressed like fucking a slut.

Clothes I paid for.

Why do I even put up with you?

Tasha dragged her bottom lip between her teeth and tried to ward off the increasing irritation she felt. A few people started casting looks in their direction and Tasha wanted to snap at Jeremy. She wanted those people to know she wasn’t a pushover. But experience taught Tasha better than that. It might feel good to curse him out now but it wouldn’t feel good later when he didn’t have the eyes of strangers to regulate his behavior.

Jeremy grabbed her arm and yanked her towards him. Tasha barely suppressed a wince as she finally brought her eyes to him. His smooth brown face was contorted with ugly anger and his eyes flashed with the promise of danger. Tasha’s heart slammed against her chest.

“You’re the most important person in my life. I don’t care what any other man thinks he sees when he looks at me. I dressed up to impress you. I wanted you to be proud of the woman on your arm,” she spluttered, hating herself a little bit more as the words she knew would pacify him spilled from her mouth.

He swallowed hard but slowly released his grip from her arm. Tasha’s arm still stung, her heart continued racing and mouth was dry. These few seconds were always agonizing as she stood there, almost shaking, wondering if it worked. Had she said enough? She watched his angry features slowly melt from his face. His wide nostrils stopped flaring, the creases between his forehead disappeared and his lips relaxed. Tasha almost wilted in relief. She slid a glance to her cell phone, checking to see how far away the Uber was. That was the wrong move. She realized it almost as soon as she saw Jeremy’s gaze trail her movements on the phone.

“What are you so focused on?” he asked. His voice rose a few decibels and Tasha wanted to find a hole to sink into. “You texting some man?”

Tasha took another deep breath, trying to pull from her mostly depleted well of patience. She wasn’t sure just how much longer she could avoid shooting off her mouth and making a bad situation worse. She fought down the urge and restrained herself. Her cheeks and stomach burned when she thought of people walking along the sidewalk looking at the spectacle Jeremy created, always created, but she slipped into self-preservation mode. She could deal with a few strangers judging her better than she could deal with what would follow if she couldn’t calm Jeremy down. Tasha couldn’t help but glance around to see if anyone was paying any attention to car crash unfolding in front of them. Her heart dropped down to her feet when she saw him.

Cole Mason.

He was the last person she expected to see observing the drama playing out. She knew Cole through her good friend, Navaya, who was best friends with his friend and bandmate, Xander. They didn’t hang out often, but they were around each other enough that Tasha didn’t waste time hoping he didn’t recognize her. Anxiety gnawed her stomach. If Cole so much as breathed a word to Xander about what he saw, Navaya would find out. The only thing she wanted less than having to explain to Navaya about the true state of the marriage everyone who cared about her advised against was facing the brunt of Jeremy’s rapidly increasing anger. Just the thought of that was enough to pull her eyes away from Cole’s and turn to her husband. She angled her phone so he could see what she’d been looking at.

“I just wanted to see how much longer until the Uber gets here,” she explained, taking comfort in the fact it was less than five minutes away.

“I’m sorry for overreacting,” he said softly – almost sweetly – after a few tense seconds passed. Jeremy wrapped his hand around her waist and planted a kiss against the side of her head. “I know I act the fool sometimes but you’re my whole world. I wouldn’t survive without you.”

Tasha remembered when declarations like that used to make her warm and fuzzy inside. She squeezed her eyes shut as she once again thought of just how stupid and just how naïve she’d been. It took all her strength to hold her body still and not cringe when he started rubbing circles against her lower back. Cole was still leaning against a car in dark jeans and a fitted shirt with a beanie pulled low over his bald head when she reopened her eyes. She swallowed the well of panic that rose like acrid smoke in her throat. She’d have to figure out how to deal with making sure Cole kept his mouth shut later. Right now, the insistent caress of Jeremy’s hand against her back posed a more urgent problem.

Tasha couldn’t bring herself to fake interest in having sex with Jeremy after everything that had happened tonight.

She just couldn’t figure out how she to tell him no without all hell breaking loose.

CHAPTER TWO

Cole’s body felt the way it usually did when he was one repetition from failure during a set of bench presses. Each muscle in his body protested the action or, in this case, the inaction, when his eyes locked on Tasha across the street in front of the swanky restaurant he’d come to check out with a few of his cousins. They were running late, as usual, so he decided to wait for them outside where he could at least allow the late summer breeze to keep him cool instead of having to ward off a server asking him a million times if he was expecting anybody else. He’d been leaning against some sleek black car, primed to get a parking ticket, casually scrolling through his business Instagram page and responding to queries under posts when he heard the commotion. His gaze, along with everyone else’s, followed the bellowing of what had to be an insecure, needy man to the couple standing there. He didn’t recognize the tall man accusing his woman of inviting the attention of men but he sure as hell recognized the woman. Tasha. Her burgundy natural curls were pulled atop her head in a messy topknot and he could see the grimaced look on her face even with the distance between them. She filled out the short, shimmery dress she wore in a way that would naturally attract the attention of men, but her husband was insane as fuck for blaming an inevitable consequence on her. Her husband. He and Tasha weren’t exactly friends, but they’d had cause to be in each other’s presence enough times for him to notice she never brought her husband along. He would have had zero reasons to even suspect she was married if it hadn’t been for the large ass rock that sat on her ring finger. Nobody spoke about Tasha’s husband. Tasha didn’t speak about her husband. He remembered his little cousin, Jay, once begging Xander for the set up when his best friend laughed in Jay’s face.

“Tasha’s married and married to the kind of man who would try to cut you open if he thought you were looking at her too hard.”

Jay made some sort of comment about how he’d be insecure as hell too if his wife looked like that and the rest of the conversation turned to how aggravating possessive men were. Xander hadn’t seemed too pressed or concerned about it. He’d laughed casually with them and Cole got the impression he figured the man’s antics were more of an annoyance than anything else.

Cole couldn’t fight the unease he felt as he watched the scene in front of him. He clenched his fists while he watched the woman he’d always seen as sharp, quick-witted and sassy remain mute as the jackass got in her face about how some other man responded to the dress she wore. Everything about what was going on seemed too familiar for him to ignore and it made him a little sick.

I can’t stand your disrespect.

Who do you think you are?

Coming out here dressed like fucking a slut.

Clothes I paid for.

Why do I even put up with you?

His hands remained curled into fists as the man continued screaming while he hoped Tasha would do something. He waited for her to hurl some abuse back, walk away… anything at all. But she just stood here. The tension in Cole’s muscles increased as he stayed rooted in place. He wanted to walk over there, get up in that man’s face and pull Tasha away from the ugly situation. Yet, he knew better. Experience taught him better. It might feel appealing to go ahead and pretend to be some knight in shining armor riding in on his Timbalands but if his suspicions were right – and his gut told him that they were – he would be creating a bigger problem for Tasha. So, he continued watching while the nigga, whose face he wanted to punch in twice, ranted and raved before Tasha, body stiff, leaned into him and whispered something that caused his body to relax. He was wondering what the hell pacified him when Tasha glanced at her phone and he looked just about ready to start again. Cole wasn’t sure he would have it in him to keep his distance if he did. He was still thinking about using the strength he generally reserved for the punching bags at his gym to teach the man a lesson when Tasha started glancing anxiously around and her eyes locked his. He couldn’t make himself look away even though he couldn’t help but wonder how knowing there was someone looking on who actually knew her made her feel. Then just as quickly as the storm arrived, it seemed to pass. Her husband pulled her into him and kissed the side of her head as if he’d been that sweet and tender to her all night but somehow that seemed to make Tasha even more anxious than she was before. He brought his attention back to his phone but he couldn’t fight the burning in his stomach. He’d seen all he needed to see. All the signs were there. He stayed there long after Tasha got into the Uber with her husband, wondering what the hell he should do. He thought of calling up Xander and throwing his suspicions at him but stopped himself.

“It’s none of my business,” he muttered just as he saw a gang of his cousins strolling up the sidewalk, laughing loudly at something as they got closer to him.

“It’s none of my business,” he repeated again, more firmly this time. He just couldn’t make himself believe it.

CHAPTER THREE

Tasha embarked on her mission as soon as Jeremy left for work the next morning. She doubted herself each second of the way. She tried to talk herself out of it each step of the way, worried she was about to make a bad situation worse. Was she overreacting? What would Cole think when he saw her? It didn’t matter. Tasha preferred Cole to believe she was dramatic than risk him telling Xander what he’d seen.

He probably already has.

Tasha pushed away the sweeping tension she felt and focused on the task at hand as she exited the Metro. The plan formed in her mind as she sipped on coffee earlier that morning while Jeremy puttered around their apartment getting ready for work. It was about two hours earlier than she would have liked to be up, considering how much she tossed and turned the night before, but Jeremy insisted she got up when he did. It was easier – so much easier – to not fight him on it. Just like it was so much easier to not fight him when they’d returned home later that night and he made it clear he was ready to claim his marital rights. She just laid back and tried to swallow the little pockets of revulsion she felt when his lips trailed across her body, deciding to focus instead on the few freelance graphic design gigs she had lined up. She was still thinking about the perfect shade of green for the font of the ice-cream parlor ad she was drafting when he shuddered, yelled some expletives, rolled off her and his soft snores filled the room.

The king-size bed was too small. The large apartment they shared was too small. Jeremy was sucking the fucking life out of her and Tasha didn’t know how to make it stop. In the early stages she’d hoped to reclaim the heady happiness of the first few months of their relationship when she looked at him with stars in her eyes and couldn’t imagine life without him. She figured she would get that Jeremy back if she could remind him of the woman he fell in love with. Except, she hadn’t thought she’d changed and had no idea what she needed to get back to. So, she did everything he asked her to. She flat pressed her hair every day because her natural hair annoyed him. She quit the well-paying graphic design job she’d had when he insisted he made more than enough money for both of them. She transferred all her savings into their joint savings account because that was what married people did. She slowly distanced herself from anyone who criticized him and anyone he criticized. Tasha dug her fingers into her palms hoping the sharp pain would ward off the tears that seemed primed to fall whenever she thought of how she fell into every trap Jeremy laid to leave her isolated, heavily dependent on him for money and just feeling… worthless. The only time she was happy, truly happy, were on those occasions she hung out with Navaya and got to pretend she was still the confident, brave woman her friend thought she was. She couldn’t ruin that. She couldn’t have Cole ruin that. She swallowed down her discomfort, straightened her back and continued towards the gym Cole worked at even though her shoes felt like they were lined with lead.

Tasha expected to be able to scan the gym floor for Cole but needed keycard access to get past the reception area.

“Can I help you?”

The young, Black woman held a bottle of some overpriced sports drink and was busy adjusting her neat box braids. Her warm smile helped ease some of the tension Tasha felt.

“I’m looking for Cole Mason?”

The young woman nodded. “Sure. Right this way.”

She swiped her keycard and led Tasha down a hall separated from gym floor by glass doors on the left before stopping in front of a door on the right that read ‘MANAGER’. She rapped on it a few times before she opened it.

“Somebody’s here to see you,” she said, stepping into the office and closing the door slightly. Tasha heard the rumbling of Cole’s deep voice for a few seconds before the woman returned and held the door open for her. He was sitting behind a sleek modern desk, staring so intently at a desktop that a few wrinkles appeared on his forehead. Surprise filled his face when he noticed her standing, awkwardly, in the doorway.

“Tasha,” he said. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

He pushed his chair back, crossed the small distance between them and pulled her into a hug so warm and comforting that Tasha almost broke down right there in his arms. She didn’t know Cole well but he always exuded an aura of raw kindness she was pretty sure would be hard to fake. But what did she know? She stepped out of his embrace before she made it awkward by lingering or erupting into tears.

“Can I sit?” she asked.

He smiled. “Of course.”

He helped her to one of the visitor chairs and leaned against his desk as she settled in and tried to find the words to explain why she’d shown up at his work unannounced.

“What can I do for you?” he asked after several seconds of silence passed.

His face didn’t give anything away even though Tasha knew he had to know why she was there. Embarrassment made her neck hot.

“I know what you saw last night,” she said slowly, trying to find the best words. “I just wanted you to know that we had a bit too much to drink that night and he really isn’t usually like that.”

“And you felt like you had to come all the way down here to tell me that?” Cole asked. Bushy eyebrows furrowed together as he waited for her response.

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t have the wrong impression. I know how close you and Xander are, and he basically tells Navaya everything. I wanted to come see you…”

“… and what impression do you think I might have?” he asked. His voice was softer now. “What is the wrong impression, Tasha?”

“It’s not what you think,” she started. “He’s not…”

She tried to make the words come but they clogged up in her throat even as she tried to fight the damn tears welling behind her eyes.

Cole pressed him palms against the desk and pushed himself off it. He took a few steps towards her before sitting in the chair opposite to the one she was sitting in.

“Look,” he said, swiping his hand across his face. “I won’t tell Xander or Navaya anything. I understand how strongly you must feel about it to seek me out early and bright this morning. I don’t want to get all up in your business but… what I saw last night honestly didn’t look good. It didn’t look like a one off either. Again, it’s none of my business but maybe Navaya is just who you need right now.”

His words were as soft as velvet and said with such care that Tasha knew the annoyance building inside her was ridiculous. His words cut too close to the bone. She felt vulnerable and exposed. Cole seemed to sense the shift in her demeanor because he raised both palms, facing out. “I’m sorry. I passed my place.”

She took a deep breath but it still wasn’t enough to soothe the burning in her chest. A wave of weariness washed over her. She was so fucking tired. Tired of putting on a brave face. Tired of the pretense. Tired of the fear. Tired of feeling so trapped that her lungs seemed to close in on themselves.

“You probably think I’m a fool, but you can’t possibly understand,” she said. “Everyone thinks they know how they would deal with something like this and have all the advice in the world. Nothing is as simple as it seems. Trust me.”

She expected him to try to offer the same advice she’d talked about but he didn’t. He did something much worse. He looked at her with compassion swimming in his deep brown eyes and started to reach out to her before pulling his hand back as if he thought better of it. That was what broke her. The tears, she’d desperately tried to hold back, flowed with the force of all the emotions she’d been repressing all along. Her body shook while she cried, trying to cup her hands over her mouth to prevent her wails from echoing through the office.

“Tasha,” Cole said. His voice barely penetrated the thick fog of misery wrapped around her. “You look like you could use a hug. May I hug you?”

For some reason that made her cry even harder as she nodded through the tears, only relaxing when she felt his body’s warmth as his arms encircled her. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed wrapped up in Cole’s arms as he gently rubbed her back while she cried so many tears into his chest that she wondered if his Under Armor shirt would stand up to the claim of being water resistant. Another wave of embarrassment hit her. Tasha reluctantly pulled herself out of his embrace. She couldn’t believe she’d come the closest she’d ever come to telling anyone about what her marriage to Jeremy was really like with Cole, of all people, and then blubbered all over him. They barely knew each other.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said softly, settling himself back into his chair.

She pulled her brows together. “Do what?”

“Be embarrassed for being human,” he said simply. “Or self-conscious about it. I understand more than you think.”

“What do you mean by…” she started to ask just as the door opened and the same young woman from the front desk stuck her head in.

“Sorry to interrupt. Cole, your private session has just arrived.”

He flashed an easygoing smile to the woman and said, “Thanks, Sophie. Tell him I’ll be right out.”

Cole waited until Sophie left before he turned his attention back to Tasha. The easygoing air around him faded into something more serious. He started to stand as she slowly pushed herself up from the chair. She felt like she’d gone a full six rounds in the boxing ring and lost each one.

“You don’t have to worry,” he said. “I won’t tell anyone your business.”

Relief flooded through her. “Thank you.”

She turned to leave but he held her elbow and pivoted her to face him. There was the concern deep in his eyes again and Tasha had to look away from it before she told him all the secrets she’d kept hidden for so long.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I need to know you are okay before I let you walk out of here.”

The tears almost came again but she managed to nod her head and let the lie slide through her lips. “I am.”

He seemed satisfied, though barely so, with her answer. Cole sighed before he continued, “And are you safe?”

That question was loaded as hell. Tasha knew it. Cole knew it. She had no idea how to best answer him. Was she safe? She didn’t know what kind of mood Jeremy would be in when he returned from work. Even if he came back happy as hell, she had no idea if that would continue throughout the night. But right in that moment, she was safe. She probably felt safer than she had in years.

“I am,” she said.

“Tasha,” he breathed. She could hear the frustration in his voice. He knew the answer was a cop out but he also knew there wasn’t anything he could do about it. She expected him to start with the kind of advice she thought he would give when she first showed up. The kind of advice she used to give before she learned, the hard way, that life could be so fucking nuanced. Tasha still grimaced every time she thought about when her younger, more naïve, judgmental little ass would murmur that she couldn’t understand how women could stay with men who mistreated them.

It couldn’t be her. It could never be her. Until it was.

Cole didn’t do any of that. He hesitated for a few seconds before he reached into his pocket and handed her a card.

“Call me if you ever need me,” he said.

“I don’t want to drag you into this.”

The protest sounded hollow on her lips even though she meant it. Cole had just been minding his own damn business when Jeremy decided to show his ass.

He gave her a wry smile and shrugged his shoulder. “I’m already in.”

He glanced at his smartwatch before telling her he really needed to get to his client and offered for her to hang around the office until she felt good enough to leave. Cole seemed to consider his next move for a few seconds before he pulled her into another warm embrace. She resisted the urge to sink into him as she fought the fresh tears that pricked her eyes.

Tasha didn’t know just how much she needed that hug until she was pressed up against the hard planes of his chest with his hand resting tenderly and protectively against her lower back.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“Whenever you need me,” he said. “I’m just one call away.”

And then he left the room, taking the bubble of safety that had started expanding in Tasha’s chest with him.